On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 1

To kick off a month of talking about babies and budgets, I wanted to share a little bit of Mike’s and my story on becoming parents.

Having children is (obviously) a very personal thing, and I hope that you take our story for what it is: our story. There are perhaps a million different reasons for choosing to invite or not invite children into the world in different seasons of life, and we hope that whether your story is similar or TOTALLY different, you can connect with us in our earnest desire to follow the Lord’s calling on our lives.

Mike and I got engaged in January of 2009, after 2 1/2  years of dating and something like 15 years of knowing each other. Yep, 15 years. When I was five, my family started going to the same, 100-ish member church that Mike’s family attended. We grew up attending the same Sunday School classes, VBS weeks, fellowship potlucks, and eventually, the same Wednesday night youth group where we experienced everything from whitewater rafting to a missions trip to Mexico together as friends.

In high school, I especially valued Mike as a dear male friend. He was, in fact, the only down-to-earth male I truly trusted as a friend and confidant. He even escorted me to my Junior Prom despite the fact that he was in his first year of college and had not even attended his own proms. I never in a million years thought that this friendship would go anywhere else, though.

Then somehow, in the summer leading up to my first year in college, something started to change in both of our hearts, and by the time August rolled around, we both had clearly fallen head-over-heels for one another. The night before I moved into my freshman dorm, he confessed his feelings for me and our relationship was suddenly launched onto a whole new trajectory.

By the time Mike and I (in my opinion, finally) got engaged, we were very excited to start the next stage of our lives together. Like all the other Evangelical-Christians around us, we started pre-marital counseling, learning about, among other things, finances, communication, and… children.

In our world, everyone we knew followed the “two year plan.” That was: get married, enjoy two years together, and then start having the requisite 2-3 children, spaced two years apart. There is, of course, nothing at all wrong with this route. There is something wrong, however, if you are choosing to do it just because, well, that’s what everyone else does, which is exactly what we would have been doing if it weren’t for a life-changing encounter not more than a few weeks after our engagement…

Stay tuned for Part 2!


6 thoughts on “On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 1

  1. I was researching recipes to make homemade laundry powder yesterday, and came across your blog. I instantly added it to my daily blog reading and love it. I am looking forward to this month’s theme and hearing more about your decision to have kids early!

    It can definitely be difficult to go against the grain of what society expects and make the sacrifices that other young adults aren’t willing to make! (Not that I speak from experience regarding children, because we don’t have any yet, but we did get married quickly (less than a year after we started dating) and while my husband was finishing up college, which many folks balked at at the time. But it worked for us!)

  2. Pingback: On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 2 « The Debt Free Family

  3. Pingback: On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 3 « The Debt Free Family

  4. Pingback: On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 4 « The Debt Free Family

  5. Pingback: On Having a Baby Early, Broke, and Young: Part 5 « The Debt Free Family

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