I’ve always been a pretty vivid dreamer (and sleep walker and talker… much to my college roomies and Mike’s amusement…). At least a few times a month I will have a dream that just rolls around and around in my mind for a while, begging for reflection. In the past few years, I’ve learned that sometimes that means these dreams have a message for my heart.
Maybe it’s God speaking directly to me, maybe it is him using my subconscious thoughts and feelings surface in a new way at night. I don’t know- I don’t really care what the theology of it is, and I don’t mean to be all mystical and charismatic about it. All I’m sayin’ is that i wake up with a renewed vision for my life and direction. It is at times encouraging, healing, enlightening, and it keeps me in touch with what is going on on the inside.
So about a month ago I had one of these dreams. I’ve shared it with exactly three people now, and all three of them have independently said “Wow you need to write that down!” So here I am- writing it down.
The background of the dream is this: we were on the cusp of some big life changes. We had started the process of looking for a new place to love. We lost a baby in February and were starting to dream about the next baby. Mike had had a transition in his job at work, and was also looking for other/different ways to add income to our family to pay for said home and baby. In short, another season of change and upheaval was looming on the horizon. I’m no good at change.
Then one night I had a dream. I was in heaven- I know this because when I picture heaven in my minds eye I picture a great expanse of marble floors and stairs. That’s just what pops in my head when you say “heaven.” That is where I was in my dream.
I was beat, dog-tired, dragging myself along in cool darkness. I was travel weary. I was crawling up those marble steps wondering when this would end.
Then I became aware that I was not alone in the cool darkness. Around me was a multitude of others- mature believers all standing and silently watching me. I knew (as one knows in a dream) that this was the Great Cloud of Witnesses from Hebrews.
I looked up and asked, “Does it ever get any easier? Does it ever stop?”
No word was spoken, but as I looked into the eyes of these believers around me I sensed a swelling answer. Their eyes were full of genuine love and compassion. Deep understanding. Their answer to my heart was, “No, sweet child. It doesn’t. But as you mature, you will understand and learn to be content and at peace even in the midst of the trials of life.”
That was it. I woke up from the dream with a profound sense of peace. Not that my present is any easier or less tiring. I could sure go for a nap. But somehow a little piece of my heart was comforted to know that I am not alone. This is the way life is- a hard, never-ending journey of transitions and change and upheaval. Sometimes great, sometimes not so great, but always for my good.
I pray for that same sense of peace for you.